Wanted, Valued, and Appreciated
How often do you feel wanted, valued, and appreciated? Your answer may range from "all the time" to something more like "almost never". Is it a requirement to feel these things in order to feel like you're having a successful life? I'd say no unless we're looking at things purely from a social standpoint, such as being involved in a circle of friends. Sometimes, we can still have happiness being alone and not with people, though I personally find those instances to be few and far between when taking a broad look.
I sometimes struggle with feelings of being any of these three things, but lately I've often pondered the thought of whether or not I really need to feel this way about my life. Is being wanted always a good thing? I'd say not exactly, for it could be for the wrong reasons, as some of us have ill intent on why we want to see/pay/use a person's skill set or services offered. Our intentions are not always of the best intentions so to speak. We could be calling upon a person just because we know that they will get something done for us, doing it just the way we want it and to perfection, and sometimes we won't even take payment because our good character feels it should be free of charge. I feel that it is so unhealthy to be that person that I try not to do this whenever I can, by using workarounds such as offering to help the person or offering them food/compensation. It's a lot of smaller gestures, but it at least makes the person feel like they aren't being used or just a hired hand. I also try to spend time with them when our schedules align.
Sometimes, we can feel wanted in the dating world for reasons other than love and affection. People will use us to get free rides all over the town, to be used as shuttle buses to go get food or a haircut, or to go and meet other people. And all I have to say to this, is why would we let people, especially those we think we want to spend the rest of our lives with, treat us in such a manner? Often we just fall into that rut and can't get out of it, but oh trust me, we must get out of it.
I also sometimes question the true value of myself as a person. Am I really worth anything to anyone when taking all of my careers and hobbies plus other skills out of the picture? What does that leave us with for things that make me worth someone else's time? I feel like there's not much to look at by that time and therefore people often tend to just never want to talk to me outside of the workplace setting because I'm not that fantastic glowing person everyone expects everyone they know to be. I don't really have an issue with not being that fun person, but I do wish someone would text every so often, though that doesn't happen overnight. It could be just to say hello and see how I'm doing, without asking me to DJ someone's wedding or trying to get me to send them money and then not paying me back. It'll happen someday I guess.
Very seldom do I feel appreciated for what I do, and I'm also ok with that I suppose. I feel that there is a fine line between not enough appreciation and way too much of it, and that line is a difficult one to walk. I do appreciate hearing the words "good job" and "thanks for your help", but I feel there are occasions where people will say them too much, and that's a not a knock on them, rather it's just me crushing myself because I feel I am worthless garbage a lot of the time that just helps complete objectives in people's lives, and I guess I'm ok with that too seeing as I've become so complacent with it. I've attended graduation ceremonies and parties, warmed seats in a place of worship, drove countless hours in one direction to do something for someone or be present at a very important meeting, and it all just feels so small and fickle sometimes. I suppose I should just learn to be ok with that, but I really hope it's not how people will always see me. I would think I'd be worth more than that to someone out there, but that remains yet to be seen....
So, yeah. Make sure that you're feeling wanted, valued, and appreciated today and every day. But don't try to project those feelings too much. In the end, they're not the most important thing ever, and your life doesn't depend on them one hundred percent. Also, check in on the people you haven't heard from in a while friends and make sure they're doing ok.
I sometimes struggle with feelings of being any of these three things, but lately I've often pondered the thought of whether or not I really need to feel this way about my life. Is being wanted always a good thing? I'd say not exactly, for it could be for the wrong reasons, as some of us have ill intent on why we want to see/pay/use a person's skill set or services offered. Our intentions are not always of the best intentions so to speak. We could be calling upon a person just because we know that they will get something done for us, doing it just the way we want it and to perfection, and sometimes we won't even take payment because our good character feels it should be free of charge. I feel that it is so unhealthy to be that person that I try not to do this whenever I can, by using workarounds such as offering to help the person or offering them food/compensation. It's a lot of smaller gestures, but it at least makes the person feel like they aren't being used or just a hired hand. I also try to spend time with them when our schedules align.
Sometimes, we can feel wanted in the dating world for reasons other than love and affection. People will use us to get free rides all over the town, to be used as shuttle buses to go get food or a haircut, or to go and meet other people. And all I have to say to this, is why would we let people, especially those we think we want to spend the rest of our lives with, treat us in such a manner? Often we just fall into that rut and can't get out of it, but oh trust me, we must get out of it.
I also sometimes question the true value of myself as a person. Am I really worth anything to anyone when taking all of my careers and hobbies plus other skills out of the picture? What does that leave us with for things that make me worth someone else's time? I feel like there's not much to look at by that time and therefore people often tend to just never want to talk to me outside of the workplace setting because I'm not that fantastic glowing person everyone expects everyone they know to be. I don't really have an issue with not being that fun person, but I do wish someone would text every so often, though that doesn't happen overnight. It could be just to say hello and see how I'm doing, without asking me to DJ someone's wedding or trying to get me to send them money and then not paying me back. It'll happen someday I guess.
Very seldom do I feel appreciated for what I do, and I'm also ok with that I suppose. I feel that there is a fine line between not enough appreciation and way too much of it, and that line is a difficult one to walk. I do appreciate hearing the words "good job" and "thanks for your help", but I feel there are occasions where people will say them too much, and that's a not a knock on them, rather it's just me crushing myself because I feel I am worthless garbage a lot of the time that just helps complete objectives in people's lives, and I guess I'm ok with that too seeing as I've become so complacent with it. I've attended graduation ceremonies and parties, warmed seats in a place of worship, drove countless hours in one direction to do something for someone or be present at a very important meeting, and it all just feels so small and fickle sometimes. I suppose I should just learn to be ok with that, but I really hope it's not how people will always see me. I would think I'd be worth more than that to someone out there, but that remains yet to be seen....
So, yeah. Make sure that you're feeling wanted, valued, and appreciated today and every day. But don't try to project those feelings too much. In the end, they're not the most important thing ever, and your life doesn't depend on them one hundred percent. Also, check in on the people you haven't heard from in a while friends and make sure they're doing ok.
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