"So Good To See You"

Every so often I'll go somewhere out here that I haven't been in a long time, or in my travels I'll run into a person that I haven't seen in a considerable amount of time except in passing.  There's usually not a specific reason as to why I haven't gone to these places or ran into these people, rather one or both of us have simply been busy beyond measure and haven't had time to contact each other or take time out to spend time with each other.  The human interaction component is missing so to speak, and so it goes for a while that we don't see each other or I don't frequent that location.

The words that most often get uttered during these meetups with folks I haven't seen in some time is the phrase "So good to see you."  I always feel good when I hear that phrase because it makes me feel like I'm not just a distant after thought in the lives of those I know.  It lets me know that I have purpose and that I am cared about and/or missed.  It makes me want to see someone again in the near future and not a large amount of time afterwards.

When this phrase was uttered recently during an encounter with a friend of mine, I had to stop and think for a second.  "Maybe everyone isn't out to get me after all" or "Maybe they don't hate me because I disappeared" along with a dash of "Man, they really do still care about me."  My depressed old soul mindset had to stop and think for  a few minutes as a place I thought was no longer welcome became a place where I realized that I was actually missed and appreciated.  Perhaps I was wrong to leave this place and take a break, or maybe the break was what I needed.  Maybe I shouldn't have been such a stranger.  These things are the things that depressed me had to stop and ponder for a few minutes that very day as I started racking these emotions through my brain and processing them also.  Maybe I was the one who was wrong after all.  My damaged heart and emotional state began to mend a little bit that morning as I sat there and continued on my day.  

I feel like I lost sight of what truly mattered when my mental health problems began to crop up.  I threw most of my current friendships into the trash can because I thought I needed and deserved people who were more present, more real and in the moment, and who actually seemed to care about you and wanted to help you.  People who actually cared about you.  I broke off contact with a lot of people I was talking to at the time because I began to feel exactly as how people described me, that description being "creepy" and "a monster".  I thought that if I just began spending my time in solitude, which is what I'm still doing right now, that I would become a better person that people actually wanted to be around and appreciated.  So that's what I did, and as a result my depression kept spiraling out of control to where it is now.  But maybe I was wrong to do that and I should have kept up my contacts with people instead and not cared what they thought?  The world will never truly know I think, but at the same time, only time will tell. 

Going home and running into my friends has this same effect.  On my last major trip home the week after Christmas, I reunited with three friends.  The first one I hadn't seen since about a year after graduation, but it was like I'd never moved away as we told stories about the old days and also the things that had happened to us since we graduated.  The next one I hadn't seen in about a year and a half but had a streak going on Snapchat, and we just met up and did some planning for her upcoming wedding.  All of it was just like meeting up again with an old friend.  Finally, Steve Solkela and I spent some time running around Eveleth and Duluth one Saturday afternoon and had a fantastic time laughing and joking our way throughout the day and sharing new music.  All three of these encounters were fantastic and we all keep up contact now about two months after it happened, which I find fantastic.  On other trips home I've ran into and reconnected with my neighbors, which is equally exciting because of the fact that I never moved as a child and so they were there for most of it or all of it depending on how long they've been in the community.  And with most of them not being on social media, they only have what my mother says to know what I'm up to, so I can tell them so much more which is fun. 

I think it's great to run into old friends and acquaintances.  You get to see what they're up to these days, and find out how they're liking college and just being an adult in general, or even what type of internships they're scoring and how that's working out for them.  It's the equivalent of two older ladies going out for coffee and talking about what their grandkids and/or neighbors are up to in that it's something we really enjoy doing.

To do all of this though, and have these "So good to see you" moments, it's important that we reach out to our old friends and see if they want to hang out.  Running into them in public coincidentally is sheer luck of the draw and is totally cool, but sometimes we just have to initiate contact instead of sitting on our smartphones waiting for their text call or Snapchat.  We have to make the first move and show the other person that we want to get together with them and see how their life is going, or we have to go and set foot in a place we thought we were no longer welcome to come to in order to begin the process of communication and healing.  It's the only way it will work, and the only way we will reconnect with the folks who truly support us and truly want us in their lives.

So take the leap today.  Reach out to someone and get together with them.  And when and if you do meet up, be sure to say "It's so good to see you." at some point during your conversing, because I guarantee a smile will come onto the face of the person hearing that phrase.  I hope you enjoy your reconnecting with old friends.